To Whom It May Concern

Dearest AriZona Beverage Co.:

I drink your Green Tea like water. If I could hook myself up to an IV drip, I would. That sweet brew of yours keeps me smiling throughout the day. It also helped me get off the Diet Coke hooch. That was a pretty major transition for me. Years added to my life, mos def.

(Sorry, I've been watching The Wire.)

I also like that you were born in Brooklyn. I've been sore on Arizona ever since their anti-immigration bullshit. I'd hate to be drinking tea that was in any way hostile to my fellow Americans, wherever they were born. I am a Democrat, after all. Actually, I think I might be registered as an Independent. Whatever, you get my point.

But lately, as much as I love you, I've been feeling guilty. See, I pride myself on my light carbon footprint. I walk to work, I eat local produce, but then I buy these big bulky plastic containers filled with your liquid heaven. Al Gore says that's wasteful and contributes to climate change, which doesn't make me feel so good. Even if I recycle. Even if my collection of aluminum cans (which are so so pretty, tell the designer I said nice work on that!) will be re-used as cladding at the Green Garage.

So the reason I'm writing is to THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for your best invention ever: the Powder Stix! Oh sweet Stix, where have you been all my life? For all I know, you've been making and selling them for years. I suppose Detroit party stores don't offer the latest and greatest in eco-friendly packaging. I should probably get out more.

Anyway, I had to come all the way to Portland to meet my destiny. I'm just glad I walked down the right supermarket aisle.

And yes {blush}, it was love at first sight. You had me at "on-the-go." So much punch and portability, so little packaging! (Well, a bit more than necessary, but much, much better.)

Now I vow to faithfully use and promote your Stix, in sickness and in health. You can count on me to keep them in my purse, in my glove compartment, in my bike basket -- within reach at all times. When I need a Ginseng fix, I'll just rip open one of those cute little pocket-size packages and pour into my water bottle. (Not the kind you can just toss in the rubbish bin. The kind you have to wash and re-use. Which, I admit, is so much more work. But I want to make Al happy. He seems pretty concerned.)

Who knows, I might even share a few of my Stix with others. I think President Obama would like that. Especially if it's with a Republican. I'm all about finding common ground. And if powder tea mix can't bring us together, what can?

Yours faithfully,
Me

p.s. I like what you did there with the "x" in Stix, by the way. Kinda like you did with the capital "Z" in your name. Very fresh & hip, I dig it. That kind of innovation is why you are the #1 selling iced tea in America, no doubt. Keep it up!